1. tacotacorey asked: Does your penis have like.. multiple penis's branching off of it since it's so huge?

    yes, it is the mother of all penises

    like an ancient gaia penis, growing since the very beggining of this land, giving birth to all the penises in the world

  2. princessrnidna asked: what you need is a girl with a giant vagina

    what you need is stop envying my penis asshole

  3. Anonymous asked: how do u penis tho

    yes

  4. it’s here!

    it’s here!

  5. OH FUCK I’M SORRY

    OH FUCK I’M SORRY

    (Source: kidt82)

  6. Anonymous asked: Texan speaking : we don't want your penis! Give it to Alaska

    how can you NOT WANT my penis

  7. Anonymous asked: Where does your penis go when you put on pants?

    Texas

  8. oh fuck all of sudden my foreskin is full of tiny meteors and spaceships

    any idea why?

  9. Cosmo sex tip #346

    cosmo-sex-tips:

    To really surprise your partner during sex, die.


  10. Cosmo sex tip #405

    cosmo-sex-tips:

    Just as he is about to cum, grab his penis and say, “I had it with these mother fucking snakes on this mother fucking plane!” 

    (Submitted by:  
    ceruleansuns)

    yes, this always makes me hard

  11. Cosmo sex tip #465

    cosmo-sex-tips:

    Wear crocs while having sex with him

    oh god

  12. 
I am so sorry :(

    I am so sorry :(